A Story of Recovery:

True Partnership

I joined FA in April 2010. I weighed 304 pounds (138kg) at that time, though my top weight was 330 pounds (150kg). I’m grateful to be maintaining a slim, healthy weight, but this is just one of the benefits of being abstinent.

Before FA, I had a very co-dependent relationship with my partner. We loved each other dearly and were madly in love, but when we would have arguments, it was WAR. Each of us was ready to fight to be victorious. After huge arguments and battles, I was exhausted. The only way I knew how to make amends was to cook great meals and then eat the issue away. We never could resolve our arguments and disagreements, nor communicate about certain topics in our relationship because we did not have the skills. So when I found FA, I no longer could use food as a tool to try and soften myself or my partner, nor could I make amends with the food. I (we) had to learn how to talk it through.

It started with my sponsor suggesting that I not sit in front of the television while eating. She said be present for my meals, so my partner and I switched off the television and started sitting at the dining table. Today, this is our favorite time of the day, when we sit at the dining table and have our meals together. Our conversations have developed into deep and meaningful discussions. We get to speak about what goes on for us and what we can do to improve, and we both feel heard. When we have some turbulence today, we don’t use other things to try to forget about the issue. We both sit down and we get to talk about difficult and challenging topics, while staying respectful and considerate of each other and not forgetting that we love each other. We’d each rather have peace, than be right.

Don’t get me wrong‒we are far from perfect, and I constantly have to ask God to help me because my ego wants to be the right one. But through FA and the guidance of my sponsor, I get to look at my part, pray for my partner, and watch how things just improve. My partner is not in FA, but has started her own recovery in another 12-Step program.

Today, both of us get on our knees at night before we go to bed and we pray together. My partner prays to God to bless me and I pray that God blesses my partner. After 14 years, we love and respect each other deeply. If it weren’t for FA, I don’t think we still would have been together.

Thank you FA and thank you God!