A Story of Recovery:

When the Whining Stopped

Usually my special-needs son goes to school with his brother, but on this particular Monday morning, my other son was out of town and I had the job of getting him to school. I always allow my special-needs son the privilege of rolling my briefcase that contains my laptop and very important schoolwork—the last year of my life’s research towards completing my master’s thesis project.

I put my daughter in her car seat, zoomed around the backside of the van, and drove off. I dropped my daughter off, dropped my son off, looked in the back seat for something, and realized that my son and I didn’t take the time to put my briefcase in the car! Hysterical is where I could have gone, and would have gone, if I wasn’t in FA.

My reaction was so different from how I used to react to other situations in my life. I calmly drove back to my original destination to see if my bag was still there. On the way there, I calmly chanted, “Thy will, not mine; bless them, change me; grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.” The bag was not there.

As I drove away, something in my mind said, “First things first.” I was already late for my Monday morning FA meeting, but something said, “Just go.” As I drove there, I had the most calm and peaceful drive. The situation about my bag was completely out of my control. I didn’t throw a fit, I didn’t talk crazy to myself or about myself, I didn’t whine and complain like I normally would have before coming into Program. I just continued to thank God and chant, “Bless them change me; not my will, but Thy will be done.”

Today is Wednesday and I still have peace about my bag. I look at my situation and thank God I am able to know that God knows where my bag is. Thank you God I started using a flash drive a few months ago, so I was able to save some of the work. Thank you God that I am connected with people who have taken the class and that I am able to put together some of the information I need. Thank you God I am able to speak up for what I need to my dean and advisor, explain my situation to them, and believe and trust that God is going to take care of the rest. Because of this program, there is no doubt in my mind that God is teaching me to take care of myself first and that God will do the rest.

I come from a whole lot of figuring things out and doing things my way. I was a judgmental know it all, but my best thinking and doing got me up to being a 256-pound diabetic with high cholesterol. I was completely miserable in my marriage, about my money, and in my mind when I first walked into FA in February 2007. I am now 39 years old, 5’9½”, healing in my finances, and divorced, with a whole lot of mental clarity that I didn’t have almost four years ago—all thanks to some doggone food program!